Different colours

 It's amazing how different the same pattern can look in different colours.

What a good idea!

I've often thought it odd, that when you get flowers they come with a sachet of food, but then when you change the water - which you're supposed to do - you're throwing away the flower food and now just have plain water.

Obviously someone else thought this was odd, too.

Chicken & bacon recipe

You will need:

• Chicken breast (I used frozen chunks)
• Bacon
• Corn
• Flour
• Butter
• Milk
• Honey
• Mixed herbs
• Black pepper
• Folded flatbreads, wraps or similar.

(Sorry, I didn't measure any of the quantities - this is why my white sauce is very unpredictable!)

What to do:

1. Chop up the chicken and bacon and cook in a frying pan with a very little oil, until nice and brown and cooked through. (I tend to add a little water occasionally to stop it from sticking).
2. Meanwhile, make white sauce with the milk, butter & flour.
3. Add honey to sauce (I used a couple of teaspoons for 3 people). Add pepper & herbs.
4. Add corn to frying pan and heat through.
5. Add chicken/bacon/corn to sauce and stir.
6. Warm flatbreads.
7. Fill with mixture.
8. Eat.

Last Words

Words and music by Andrew Peterson and Ben Shive

💧Drip

When people move a bucket that has been placed under a leak - because the bucket is in their way - what do they expect to happen? Do they expect the leak to move, too?

Hopefully the sign will help...

Old broken stuff

 A fun conversation from the radio sitcom Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Carefully.

An alien commander is complaining that earth is 'a dump':

Zone Commander Ravella: There's old, broken stuff everywhere.
Lucy: You mean like that shopping trolley in the canal.
Zone Commander Ravella: Yes - but also all those old castles. Can you really not be bothered to demolish them?
Katrina: They're our history.
Zone Commander Ravella: I see. We write history down, instead of clogging up the landscape with ugly heaps of useless stone.

Tips for hymn writers

1) Write a chorus.

You may not think your song needs a chorus. You may be right. But someone, somewhere down the line, will decide it does. 

While the adding of choruses is particularly popular currently, the most bizarre example I can think of is the late 19th century addition of a happy jolly chorus to Alas, and did my saviour bleed, which is more of a sombre lament. Most added choruses are better than that - some are excellent. But if you want the chorus to say what you want to say, write one yourself.

Of course, if you do add a chorus, someone will decide it also needs a bridge...

2) Don't die.

The song you write will remain under copyright until 70 years after your death. So if you want to prevent people from monkeying around with your carefully thought through lyrics - sometimes ending up with a song that says something completely different than what you were trying to say - this is a simple (if impossible) solution.